Slightly Crazy, Extremely Weird
by Keelan1210
Summary: "The best relationships usually begin unexpectedly." Maybe, but for me, the best relationship began with my best friend landing into debt.
1. Chapter 1: The Archer and The Nerd

**Disclaimer: **I, Keelan1210, do not own the anime/manga/drama, _Ouran High School_ _Host Club_. However, any original characters found in this fanfiction _are_ mine as is the plot. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Chapter 1: The Archer and The Nerd

Ouran Academy- a school reserved only for the extremely wealthy and those of the highest pedigree with the student body consisting of daughters and sons of company CEOs, ambassadors, celebrities, ecetera.

However, once in a very, very rare, blue moon, the academy would offer the middle class- commoners, as they were called- scholarships as a chance to _familiarize themselves with the world of the unknown and beauty_.

At least, this was how Chairman Suoh explained the occurrence, and while most would have protested against being treated as if they were some lower beings, the two (males, females?) before him had no such qualms.

"_Bwahahaha_!" leaning forward on his oaken desk, the man rested his chin against his palm. "Pardon my rudeness, but your registration forms state that both of you are female, so I am curious as to why your appearance suggests otherwise."

"Before the term began," the shorter brunette explained, "a child in my neighborhood placed bubblegum in my hair, so I decided it was time for a haircut. Also, seeing as how I can't afford the uniform, my father's clothes will have to make due."

Nodding in acceptance, his gaze focused on the remaining party in the ornate room. "Miss Fuijioka has a legitimate reason for her outfit, but I know, for a fact, a uniform was provided for yourself."

The teenager sighed, Tyrian orbs conveying a sense of reluctance. "The dress hinders my involvement in daily activities, and even if it didn't, I wouldn't be caught dead wearing those yellow, cream puffs, anyway."

"How expected of you, Miss Mihara," Yuzuru Suoh chuckled. "As usual, I find the similarities between you and your father are astounding. Now, I hope, as fellow scholars, the pair of you make friends with one another."

"We already have," Haruhi Fujioka stated, giving a small smile, and Yuzuru cocked an eyebrow. "Ayumi and I have been neighbors for quite some time."

"I see," began Mr. Suoh. "Miss Fujioka, you are a truly inspiring individual to have befriended one as difficult as Miss Himura. I pray for your continued sanity."

Haruhi laughed while Ayumi sulked, muttering, "I've been betrayed by my friend of however many years and bullied by my new principal. The universe enjoys watching my suffering, doesn't it?"

* * *

"Haruhi," Ayumi called. Having spied a slightly ajar doorway, the auburn-haired crept into the "abandoned" music room and was greeted with the sight of the aforementioned brunette lying upon the pink, tiled floor whilst surrounded by six males.

Had it been any other person witnessing their best friend in such a state, he or she would have promptly panicked and attempted to retrieve the fallen girl. However, as it was Ayumi, she immediately realized what had occurred after a study of the room.

There were shards of pale, baby blue pottery littering the corner, and the students (a few, of which, she recognized) had expressions ranging from worry to amusement.

Again, since it was _Ayumi_ and not any average human being, she made a motion to leave the area and jokingly(?) said, "Haruhi, I won't judge you for your interests, but remember to use protection, or your dad will be arrested for manslaughter."

Then, as Haruhi suddenly lept to her feet and proceeded to strangle the life out of her neighbor, the shortest person present yelled, quite happily, "It's Ayu-_chan_!"

* * *

"Wait, so let me summarize everything: Haruhi, _my_ Haruhi, accidentally ruined the Renassaince vase intended for the school auction, was working as an errand boy, but was recent promoted to a host?" The Host Club nodded all the while throughout Ayumi's speech in agreement.

"Hey, who are you anyway?" one of the ginger twins questioned. His tone was rude, but his hazel eyes showed only curiosity. He and his brother were Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachin, Ayumi realized, belatedly registering how the duo shared a class with her and Haruhi.

"Mihara, Ayumu; age fifteen," Kyoya Ootori recited dutifully, peering over his glaring glasses to observe the two commoners. "According to my information, Mister Mihara, here, was allowed entrance into Ouran due to his superior abilities with the bow."

For the next few minutes, the hosts were occupied with listening to their vice-president, and noticing this, Haruhi leaned over to whisper to her friend, "_Ayumu_?"

_Ayumi _shrugged nonchalantly."The chairman decided that if I wasn't going to wear the dandelion-colored, puff of doom," Haruhi smiled at the younger's exaggeration, "he would just have to create a new, customized uniform that I wouldn't mind being seen in."

Frowning, as she was still confused, Haruhi murmured quietly, as to not draw the males' attention, "What does a new cloathing ensemble have to do with a change of school records?"

"Well," Ayumi smirked dryly, "in his words, not mine, it'd be interesting to see his son's reaction when said blonde discovered my (and your) real gender. He also started spewing crap about how if my best friend was going to join a club, it wouldn't be right to not tag along."

"How did he know I was in the Host Club?" Haruhi mused, curiously. Once again, Ayumi shrugged, and merely replied, "Cameras, maybe?" The two commoners then sighed, unagware of how much their lives would change from that moment on.

* * *

"Wow, Haruhi," Ayumi teased, "you sure are popular." Haruhi sent the new host a weak glare, trying not to show her amusement towards Ayumi's jest.

Today was Haruhi's and Ayumi's first day as members of the club, and whilst Haruhi had been deemed the _natural_ type, Ayumi had been named the _lethargic_ type as she as lazy, and typically, unmotivated.

"Hey," Haruhi began, adjusting her recently trimmed chestnut locks, "how did you convince Kyoya-_senpai_ to let you become a host?"

"I didn't really have to say much, actually. All I did was ask if I could join," Ayumi relied, removing her hands from the large pocket of her own, personal uniform, a cerulean-colored hoodie emblazoned with the Ouran crest directly above her heart.

She rolled up the white sleeves that began from the original blue at her mid-shoulders, making the sweatshirt appear as if it had two layers, and assisted Haruhi with the task of tidying the table tops of teacups, plates, and the like.

"Ayumi, will you be coming over for dinner?" Haruhi asked. Ayumi shook her head, a subtle frown appearing on her face before a forced grin took its place.

"Mom will be home, so I'll eat supper with her," Ayumi exclaimed cheerfully. "It's been a while since we've eaten, let alone truly talked, to one another!"

Haruhi reached out and took hold of Ayumi's right cheek before pinching, ignoring the girl's yelps of pain. "I've told you before: Don't smile if you don't want to." Releasing, she watched as Ayumi sighed, nodded, and began massaging her sore cheek.

"Anyway, I'll be leaving first," the brunette hugged her friend in apology. "Dad wants to have _sukiyaki_ for dinner, so I have to shop for ingredients."

Ayumi returned the embrace and buried her face into the shorter female's shoulder, breathing in Haruhi's comforting scent. "Tell Ranka..."

"I know. I'll be sure to tell him," Haruhi murmured, already aware of what Ayumi had hoped to say. "Don't worry, he won't get mad over a matter like this. He might sulk, but he won't hold grudge. Now, I have to tell Kyoya-_senpai_ I'll be leaving, okay?"

Ayumi pouted but allowed her friend to leave, waving in farewell. Haruhi turned to find the club's vice-president and sighed. _Really_, despite her personality, Ayumi could be quite childish, at times.

* * *

"_Kyah_!" Ayumi removed her head from her customer's lap and muttered an apology, promising to return upon spying the ravenette's disappointed expression.

Strolling quickly to the closest senior(s), whom turned out to be Honey-_senpai_ and Mori-_senpai_, she hastily asked, "What happened? Who screamed?" Honey giggled at Ayumi's flustered expression while Mori remained stoic, though his obsidian orbs softened a bit.

"Calm down, Ayu-_chan_," Honey advised. "Hika-_chan_, Kao-_chan_, Kyo-_chan_, and Tama-_chan_ have it taken care of. Right, Takashi?" Mori grunted in agreement.

"Let's go," the tall senior said shortly, Honey perched on his broad shoulders. Ayumi by his side, the trio made their way to the area of commotion, only to discover a ginger being helped up by Tamaki, and Haruhi on the ground, drenched.

"Haruhi!" Ayumi cried, worried. The brunette embraced her friend tightly, whispering comfort into the Tyrian-eyed, female's ear, assuring her friend she was only a bit damp from the water.

Drying Haruhi's moist hair, Ayumi listened as Tamaki berated his, now former, _p__rincess _for her actions. The second year fled in tears, and Haruhi seemed as if she wanted to cry herself when her quota was increased.

"Here," Kyoya held a brown, paper bag in his grasp, "there aren't any spare uniforms, so this will have to do. Is that alright?" Haruhi muttered her thanks adm rushed off to the changing rooms, eager to remove herself from her current ensemble.

Sure of Haruhi's absence, Ayumi brought her previously hidden (from Haruhi) intense gaze and focused it on the twins as she snarled, "Explain."

The redheads obeyed her order fearfully, and the remaining males shivered and silently swore, if possible, to never enrage their usually easygoing schoolmate.

* * *

"Haruhi," Tamaki began, his typically exuberant expression was absent, "you're a girl?" Ayumi face palmed at his inquiry. Had he _just_ realized? Wasn't the blonde, according to Kyoya-_senpai_, supposed to be the second smartest in his year?

"Biologically speaking, yes. I am female." Upon hearing Haruhi's blunt answer, Tamaki fell backwards and began stuttering uncontrollably while Haruhi's following words had him blushing as red as an overripe tomato.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe we are witnessing the beginning of love," Kyoya mused to himself. The remaining hosts, including Ayumi, murmured in assent.

"Kyoya-_senpai_, I'll wager that Tamaki-_senpai_ won't confess, let alone realize his feelings, for another two years. If I win, you'll buy me anything of my choosing. If you win, I'll obey any one order of yours without question," Ayumi said, a lazy smirk present on her face.

Kyoya, considering the offer, agreed. "I'll have a formal contract drawn up by tomorrow afternoon, at the latest." Hikaru and Kaoru stared at Ayumi in amazement. Had she just _made a deal_ with the Shadow King?

"_Ah_, Mitsukuni," Mori turned to his cousin, speaking at a low tone. "That's right!" Honey exclaimed. His shout drew everyone's, even Tamaki's, attention. "Ayu-_chan_, don't you have something to tell everyone?"

His and Mori's eyes glimmered with mischievousness as Ayumi groaned. "I guess, it can't be helped. _Errr_... Haruhi, Mori-_senpai_, and Honey-_senpai_ already know... I'm a girl."

Kyoya's clipboard snapped in his hold, those not mentioned, minus the mentioned bespeckled teen, cried incredulously, "_Hah_?"

Ayumi turned to face her friend and raised her hands in a _what-can-you-do_ motion before sighing. "My real name is _Ayumi_, and to explain, Honey-_senpai_ and Mori-_senpai_ already knew because they've seen me practicing for archery before."

The Host Club, minus Kyoya (again), faced their eldest members with betrayed expressions, but their attention was again stolen by another. "Being a host isn't that bad, actually. It's kind of fun."

"I know what you mean," the hosts' heads whipped towards Ayumi. "It's amusing, how the girls fawn over us. It makes me wonder how they'd react if they ever discovered our true genders."

"Then, that settles it," Haruhi proclaimed. "I'll start addressing myself as _ore_ from now on!" The commoner duo began to laugh gleefully as the males stared, wondering if this was all just a twisted, weird dream.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hey, this is my first _Ouran_ fanfiction, so please, be kind to it. My baby's sensitive. *sniffle, snort* Joking aside, despite being my first time (well, that sounds awkward), I swear to do my best with this work.

This *_coughcrappycough_* story will be following a mix of the manga and anime's plot line, and thus, will (most likely) contain many, many spoilers. Also, the pairing is undecided, so if there are any suggestions, just leave a review! I'll do my best to update, _at least_, once a week. Thanks for reading!


	2. Chapter 2: Frozen Teacup

**Disclaimer: **I, Keelan1210, do not own the anime/manga/drama, _Ouran High School_ _Host Club_. However, any original characters found in this fanfiction _are_ mine as is the plot. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Chapter 2: The Frozen Teacup

"Haruhi," a voice called. "Haruhi!" It was louder this time, more urgent, and Haruhi (albeit reluctantly) awoke from her light nap. She hadn't even realized she had fallen asleep, really.

"Haruhi, practice is over. We have to leave, or we'll be late for the Host Club." There, Mihara Ayumi stood, towering over Haruhi's shorter height of 5'1". The brunette, still not fully aware, absently wondered if her friend had grown taller.

"Really, now," Ayumi sighed, mock-exasperatingly, "You're just like a young child when you wake up. Wipe your face a bit, or Tamaki-_senpai_ will cry about how _his precious daughter isn't properly caring for her appearance_."

Accepting the damp towel offered to her, Haruhi grudgingly followed Ayumi's advice, not wanting for the blonde host to fuss. Whilst returning the rag, Haruhi noticed the auburn-haired was still dressed in her _kyudo-gi_.

"Shouldn't you change back into your regular uniform?" Haruhi asked, cocking her head to the side and raising an eyebrow. "I doubt Tamaki-_senpai_ would like for you to host while in those clothes."

Rubbing the back of her head, Ayumi said, "_Ehh_... The _hakama_ is really comfortable, though. Plus, I personally think he and the ladies would love it if I contiued to wear this outfit, but if it makes you feel uncomfortable, I'll change."

Ducking to avoid a swipe, Ayumi decided to do as she was told but not before voicing one, last remark. "Really, Haruhi. You don't have to worry. You'll be my only love, even if all the girls fawn over me."

This time, the amethyst-eyed was unable to dodge the projectile headed her way, and subsequently, suffered the impact of her own quiver. "Hurry up, or we'll be late," Haruhi snapped testily.

* * *

"Welcome," the Host Club chimed in unison. The music room had undergone a complete chnage of design during Haruhi's and Ayumi's absence. It currently resembled a tropical rainforest (Bali, according to Kyoya).

The males were dressed in skin-baring cloths, lathered in gleaming jewelry, with rouge Hibiscus lei resting around their necks. The female students were swooning much more than usual today due to (once again, according to Kyoya) the shown skin.

Personally, while she did enjoy the view every now and then, Ayumi felt that the gold was a bit over the top. Before she could ponder on the matter any further, she was napped out of her thoughts by one of her customers.

"Ayumu-_kun_," Hisako (at least, Ayumi was mildly sure that was her name) crooned, "why aren't you and Haruhi-_kun_ in costumes like the other hosts?" Having heard a girl ask Haruhi the same question earlier, Ayumi had long since prepared an answer.

"Well, Haruhi doesn't like wearing out-of-season clothing," the faux male explained. Yawning, she also added, "As for myself, I'm too lazy to be willing to take the effort to change into something that's not my style. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

Caressing the "princess's" cheek softly, she softened her expression and feigned regret. Then, her other customer, Kazumi(?), hurriedly spoke up, "It's fine, Ayumu-_kun_. We're not disappointed!" Hisako, blushing, nodded her head furiously in agreement.

Ayumi smiled, deviously (though, the females couldn't tell, too overwhelmed at the moment), and rested her head in Kazumi's lap- Luckily, they were seated on a couch, allowing her action to be executed much more easily.

"Next time," Ayumi began, her fans eagerly leaning closer to listen, "I'll be sure to dress up. After all, you ladies are at your most beautiful when you're blushing and smiling." They squealed at her words, complexion reddening rapidly.

* * *

A few tables away, Haruhi smacked her face, having heard her friend. Despite her usually unmotivated attitude, Ayumi could be extremely manipulative at times. _Yes_, Haruhi had noticed those words were not said on a whim.

Ayumi had purposely uttered that sentence at a higher decibel, allowing the surrounding females to listen, tempting them with her promise. Now, it was almost guaranteed the auburn-haired would have new customers by the next session.

Really, her neighbor was quite intelligent- though, she never seemed tried her hardest on educational assignments for whatever reason, preferring to finish quickly and be done. Still, Haruhi was grateful, as Ayumi was only working to help her clear her debt.

* * *

"Boss," Hikaru stated, watching Tamaki slurp his instant noodles at an almost obnoxious volume. He looked away in mild disgust when a strand flew straight into the males' lips, causing soup to spray his surroundings.

"Could you stop eating that commoner ramen and help plan for the party?" Kaoru finished, also observing his _senpai's_ behavior. Kyoya, seated in front of his laptop, sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Tamaki, are you really that surprised?" the bespeckled host inquired. "It was only a matter of time before Princess Kanako moved on. After all, she does have _that_ illness."

Hearing the word "illness", Haruhi became worried and murmured, "Illness? Is Kasugazaki-_san_ suffering from some disease?" Ayumi snorted, and the brunette sent a curious stare her way.

Suddenly, Honey giggled, from his position atop of Mori's broad shoulders. "Haru-_chan_, you're so cute! Don't worry! Kana-_chan_ isnt actually sick." The senior's much taller grunted in agreement to Honey's statement.

At Haruhi's confused expression, the two gingers decided to elaborate. "She has the host-hopping disease," Kaoru began. "In other words, she never remains with a single host for very long," Hikaru explained.

"_Ahh_... Is that why Tamaki-_senpai's_ sulking, because I stole his customer from him? How petty," Harhi remarked bluntly. Ayumi flinched at the tactless comment and hoped the blonde wouldn't become angered.

Tamaki, instead, swallowed his current mouthful before muttering something incomprehensible, and as no one had understood his mumbles, he lept to his feet and cried, "Haruhi, it's time you returned to dressing as a girl!"

He then launched into a vicious, seemingly never-ending, tirade centered around that very subject, but Ayumi didn't pay attention as her phone vibrated at the very instant. The hosts became silent as she answered the incoming call.

"Hirohito-_san_," she greeted. "What's wrong? Shouldn't you be at the airport?" Truthfully, Ayumi already knew what was the matter, but she desperately hoped for otherwise. However, her suspicions were proven to be correct.

"_Ayumi-chan, your mother called. She- she's drunk. Could you return home? I'm worried about what she'll do if she's alone in her current state_," her mother's boyfriend implored, his tone apologetic.

Running a hand through her wig's bangs (which matched her own hair color), Ayumi sighed tiredly and mumbled, "Thank you for alerting me, Hirohito-_san_. I'll leave my school now. Please, have a safe trip."

"_Then, good luck, Ayumi-chan. I'll be back in one week. Goodbye._" Ending the call, Ayumi turned to face Kyoya, ignoring the other's curious (and Haruhi's worried) expressions.

"Kyoya-_senpai_, it seems my mother felt a bit sick at work and returned home, so would it be alright if I left, as well? I'm worried about her," Ayumi lied. Unaware of her fib, Kyoya agreed, and as she left, Haruhi took hold of her arm.

"Don't hesitate to call if anything happens," Haruhi whispered. Ayumi nodded and left, grateful for a friend as understanding as the brunette. Haruhi, on the other hand, knew her advice wouldn't be heeded and wished Ayumi would be more open.

The original chaos continued, uninterrupted.

* * *

"Thank you for dancing with us today, Kasugazaki-_san_," Haruhi said, a bright smile present on her face. "Ayumu and I really appreciate it, though he can't voice his own thoughts at the moment as you can clearly see."

Kanako giggled, peering over her teacup to observe Ayumi's twitching form sprawled over the bed Honey usually used for his afternoon naps. The exhausted "male" gave a peace sign to show "he" was recovering.

"Ayu-_chan's_ really tired, _neh_, Takashi?" Honey mused, beaming at the (adorable) 15-year old, though she could not see it. Mori grunted, silently observing Honey's almost _affectionate_ grin as the karate expert lightly shook Ayumi awake.

"Excuse me," a masculine voice called. "I'm here to deliver this month's china." Kanako froze, immediately recognizing who had spoken, and even if Haruhi hadn't noticed this, Tamaki (uncharacteristically) had.

"Suzushima-_san_, as usual, I thank you for your efforts and punctuality. All of the ladies absolutely adore the tableware you select," Kyoya (also, uncharcteristically) praised. In return, Suzushima Toru chuckled sheepishly.

"Toru-_senpai_! You never told me you were involved with the Host Club!" Ayumi yelled, bounding towards the male, grinning brightly.

"Well, you never told me you had joined the Host Club, _Yu-kun_," Toru replied, his tone alerting the hosts (except Tamaki) that he was aware of Ayumi's true gender. Haruhi took the wooden crate in his grasp, setting it gently on a nearby table.

"_Toru_? Could you be the same Toru who introduced Ayumu to archery?" Haruhi asked, faintly recalling her neighbor having once mentioned such a name.

"Yes, I saw him practicing on the day I accompanied you to hand in your scholarship papers. It seems interesting, so inept bothering him until he decided to teach me!" Ayumi explained cheerily.

Toru smiled slightly. "Then, next thing I know, I start seeing him in archery tournaments and here at Ouran within the next year. It was a shock."

"Well," Haruhi said, "I have to thank you. I was always worried about Ayumu's lack of exercise, but after his meeting with you, he became more active and obtained a scholarship at the same academy I planned to attend."

* * *

The Host Club had ended for the day, and Ayumi found herself watching Toru practice his shooting, though he was not aware of her presence. "You can't keep running away from her like this," she said.

_Thwack_! Surprised, Toru's aim became off, and the arrow completely missed its intended target. "Don't scare me like that!" he exclamied, voice a bit shaky from the shock. "I'm going to have a heart attack one day if this goes on!"

For once, Ayumi was not amused. "Don't pretend you didn't hear me. I'll say it again: You can't keep running away from her like this. It hasn't worked and will never work. Step up. Talk to her, clearly."

Nocking another arrow, he muttered, a bit bitterly, "I'm not good enough for her." Aim, release, miss. "I'll be leaving to study abroad, to mature and become a better man. I'm not running, not from her."

"Your emotions are hindering your skill," Ayumi commented. "You _are_ running- Mature? Don't make me laugh. What makes you think she'll wait for you? Everyone has a limit, and she is reaching her's."

Toru threw his bow to the ground, frustrated. "Then, what do you suggest I do? What am I supposed to say? _I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me? Please, wait for me? Don't give up on me?_" His voice cracked forwards the end, and he fell to his knees.

Ayumi sighed, hugging her knees to her (unbound) chest. "What you decide is your own choice. I cannot make that decision for you. All I can say is this: Follow your heart. What is your heart attempting to tell you over the senseless yelling of your mind? Listen."

With that, she took her leave, and Toru continued to brood quietly, contemplating Ayumi's words. Was what she had said correct? Was he really running away?

* * *

"Good luck!" Ayumi yelled. "You'll need it if you're going to convince that _hard-headed idiot_ that he's wrong!" Haruhi saluted her friend before shakily walking to her destination, the heels of her shoes hindering her process.

Ayumi sighed and adjusted the cuffs of her simple, charcoal-colored suit. "Ayumi, are you ready? It's almost time for the final event of the night," Kyoya informed her. SHe merely sighed once more and fell into step with the club's vice-president.

"Let's just get this over with. The sooner we finish, the sooner I can return home to sleep," Ayumi muttered. Her feet were sore from dancing, and she was tired of associating with her guests.

* * *

They were a beautiful couple, really. Each covered for the other's shortcomings. They completed one another, so to speak. Someone walking by probably would never be able to tell that they had fought recently.

"Princess Kanako Kasugazaki has been deemed tonight's queen!" Hikaru cheered. Spectators clapped politely. "She will be awarded with a kiss from our king..." Kaoru added, snickering quietly.

"However, due to unforeseen circumstances, Haruhi Fujioka will be substituting!" Ayumi yelled gleefully. Haruhi glared at her hatefully but complied when Kyoya offered to reduce her debt by one-third.

Thus, the ball ended with a happy ending- not. When were events relating to the Host Club ever so simple? In the end, Haruhi and Kanako lip locked due to a little "push" from Tamaki. They quickly separated, flushing with color.

Haruhi recovered quickly, however, and Kanako after a few comforting words from Toru. The male caught sight of Ayumi and waved joyously, trying to convey his gratitude.

Ayumi returned the gesture. "You made your choice, _huh_, _senpai_?" she murmured fondly. "I guess, then, I should make my choice, too. Isn't that right, Mother?"

* * *

_"I'd like to talk to you, face-to-face." ~Your Father_

* * *

**Author's Note:** Welcome to the second chapter of _Slightly Crazy, Extremely Weird_! Thank you to _Harukawa Ayame_, _Malffinka_, _Morning-Star57, _and _(person who this website won't let me include, for whatever reason)_ for reviewing, favoriting, and/or following! If anyone likes this fanfiction, please, also check out my _Pandora Hearts_ work- _Shattered, Fractured, Fixed_. Anyway, thanks for reading!


	3. Chapter 3: Quack Doctor

**Disclaimer: **I, Keelan1210, do not own the anime/manga/drama, _Ouran High School_ _Host Club_. However, any original characters found in this fanfiction _are_ mine as is the plot. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Chapter 3: Quack Doctor

"Haruhi," Ayumi murmured, voice low as to not alert those around her. "Should we tell him? It's only a matter of time before he realizes."

Haruhi subtly shook her head, the motion barely noticeable. Her milk-chocolate orbs were filled with mild anxiety, but she calmed when her hand was gripped gently by her auburn-haired friend.

"Mistukuni, you overdid it." Ayumi (along with Haruhi and their various guests) flinched slightly at Mori's blunt statement, and not wishing to see Honey's soon-to-be watering eyes, buried her face into Haruhi's kimono-clothed shoulder.

The silence that permeated the atmosphere was almost permeable, but the tension was quickly broken by one female's (obviously false) exclamation. "Wow, Honey-_kun_! You're such a genius! If there was any more tea, I wouldn't have been able to finish!"

"Yes!" another customer agreed, expression eager with a hint of desperation. "You never cease to amaze me with your intelligence, Honey-_senpai_! How do you do it?"

Correct, ladies and gentlemen. These nervous individuals present (including Haruhi Fujioka and Ayumi Mihara, but not including Takashi Morinozuka) were flustered over the simple fact that Mitsukuni Haninozuka had reduced the matcha more than needed.

"_Really_?" Haruhi muttered, and Ayumi covered the upper part of her visage with the mint-green sleeve of her outfit. "Was that _all_ that needed to be said and done to prevent a scene?" Ayumi contiued, incredulous.

The elder of the duo sighed tiredly and motioned for the latter to shift positions.

Reluctantly, Ayumi removed herself from Haruhi's lap and stared questioningly. "It's about time for this set of guests to leave, so I'm going to go take a short walk as a means of relaxation," Haruhi explained whilst stretching, and a few of her joints cracked.

Ayumi pondered her words for a moment before turning and reaching for a plate of dango, and Haruhi, assuming all was well, left for her break.

* * *

"I leave to use the restroom, and you decide to (verbally) wound Tamaki-senpai without a shred of hesitance?" Hikaru and Kaoru nodded, not understanding what was the issue.

"Why is it that the most interesting scenes occur while I'm away? I want to tea- _associate _with _Danchou_, too!" _Ah_, so Ayumi had wanted to- _Wait, what?_

The two gingers stared at the shorter host, identical gobsmacked expressions adoring their complexion. "Well, Ayumi, we judged wrongly," Kaoru said, and the female became confused at the statement.

"We thought you were a goody-goody," Hikaru elaborated. "We didn't expect you to have a sense of mischief." Truly, the males had not expected such an outcome, _at all._

Ayumi smirked, and the twins found that it was strikingly similar to their own. "There are plenty of things you have yet to discover. Don't worry. I'm sure both of you will, someday."

At that moment, Hikaru's lips mirrored Ayumi's while Kaoru gave a devilish grin. A challenge- that had been a challenge. Whether she was aware or not, Ayumi had issued a challenge, and the Hitachiin _never_ backed down from a challenge.

* * *

"Please, we'll do whatever is required, so please, remain as our secret princesses!" Tamaki cried dramatically, his hands grasping onto both Haruhi's and Ayumi's shoulders.

"_Danchou_," Ayumi began, tone soft, gentle, and a bit teasing, "I'm sorry, but I don't have any of that sort of feelings for you. Besides, a man should stick to one lover at a time. Cheating on a person never turns out well, in the end."

The Tyrian-eyed had spoken her last statement with a hint of steel underlying her voice, and though she was not aware, Haruhi (and Kyoya) he noticed. Meanwhile, the redhead siblings began to chortle uncontrollably as Tamaki gaped.

Honey giggled, and Mori remained stoic, though Ayumi was fairly sure she had seen a trace of amusement flash across his face. Haruhi set down her bag onto a coffee table just as Kyoya began to speak.

"As entertaining as bullying Tamaki can be," the blonde gasped at his classmate's apparent betrayal, "we need to discuss the physical exams. More specifically, how and what should be done to conceal Ayumi's and Haruhi's gender."

A cacophony of comments, sarcastic remarks, and the like were voiced, but all speech was cut off upon Haruhi's next words, and knowing what was to follow, Ayumi grinned.

"Physical examination, _huh_?" Haruhi repeated, seemingly contemplating the subject. "I guess, there's really nothing that can be done, if you think about it. I'll have to repay my debt another way."

Ayumi collapsed onto the tiled floor and descended into chortles at her neighbor's oblivious nature, having predicted the brunette's reactions long with the Host Club's scandalized expressions.

Then, erupted a stream of persuasions to convince Haruhi to show some enthusiasm, but the female merely rebuked them all stating that there was nothing that could be done in light of the upcoming exams.

A flash of pity overcame her being, and Ayumi decided to aid the frantic- minus Kyouya and Mori- males. Approaching the daunting senior, she gestured for him to lean down and whispered in his ear.

Smiling slightly before reverting, Mori's baritone was, somehow, clearly audible above the din. "Fancy tuna," he said, and there it was- the phrase that would convince the gluttonous scholar to join the hosts' scheme.

Predictably, Haruhi attempted to resist, but of course, she relented in the end. Suddenly, however, she exclaimed an exclamation that caused the hosts to wonder just how they were going to overcome the new development.

"What about Ayumi? She's a girl, too." Indeed, she was. When the bindings were removed, even the most naive of men could see the female's obvious breasts. In this state, her gender was undeniable.

"Don't worry about me," the hosts and Haruhi were about to object when she continued. "Yuzuru-_jii_ was the one who caused me to have to conceal my gender to begin with, so he's most definitely already dealt with the issue."

"_Yuzuru-jii_?" Tamaki questioned to himself as Ayumi further added that despite her (fortunate) circumstances she was still able to attend the exams, if she so wished, as a spectator.

* * *

"Are you sure this will work?" Tamaki mumbled, cheeks flushed with a light shade of rouge. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to doubt you, but it's my first time." He contiued to fidget uncomfortably, fiddling with the object in his hands.

Ayumi giggled and patted the blonde's tuft of locks reassuringly. "It _will_ work, _Danchou_. Don't worry. I believe in you." She smiled gently causing the twins witnessing the scene unfold to blush slightly.

"Okay, then. I'll do it," Tamaki declared, confident and just a bit nervous. The three freshmen watched as their club president strolled towards their brunette friend's location, hid her behind the curtains, and proclaimed that _he_ was _Haruhi Fujioka_.

As was expected, not a soul in the room beloved him, and admits the raging laughter, the male became a tomato and lunged towards the pair that had suggested the scheme in the first place.

"Sorry, Boss, but we didn't really appreciate being called the supporting cast," Hikaru apologized, insincerely, of course. "Besides," Kaoru added, "Kyoya-_senpai_ thought it was a good idea, and Honey-_senpai_ and Mori-_senpai_ didn't object."

Sending a scandalous, sorrowful to his fellow, remaining hosts, Tamaki was met with a jovial grin, painfully blank stares, and a mischievous smirk (courtesy of a certain archer).

Sulking, he faced Haruhi and mumbled, "Haruhi? I'm sorry. It didn't work as well as I thought it would." His form was pinned into immobility by the commoner's fierce glare, and he could only hope for it to pass soon.

_Oh_, why did his club members all have to be (closet or not) devious sadists?

* * *

"Well, I suppose it's fortunate that Kyoya-_senpai's_ family is in charge of all the doctors. This way, we won't have to worry at all about our gender being revealed to the public!" Ayumi cheered... _Umm_... Cheerfully.

Haruhi sighed and noted she seemed to doing so quite a lot upon joining the Host Club. She was going to be gray-haired by the time she was twenty, no doubt,

"Still, who would have thought Yuzuru-jii would ask me to conduct my exam here, as well? Anyway, I'm done, so I'll be leaving to use the restroom, okay?" Ayumi asked.

Haruhi nodded and listened to her friend's footsteps gradually fade away. She, then, slowly undid the buttoned on her blouse. Musing, she noted that Ayumi had become more cheery these past months.

_Hmm_... It seemed the hosts had their uses, after all.

She was interrupted from her train of thought when she heard a rustling and felt a rough, callous palm clamp against her lips. "Don't speak," said the voice.

* * *

"_You asshole__!_" screeched Ayumi furiously, and she hurtled a pen at the man seemingly harassing her neighbor. The projectile was propelled with so much force that it jammed itself into the alabaster walls.

The male (all of them, really) gulped and prayed to never be subjected to her wrath. The orchid-eyed continued to swear as she was held back by arms belonging to none other than a bespeckled vice-president.

"_Remove your filthy, pedophilic hands away from my friend right now, or I swear I'll injure you to the point where you will never dare to even glance at another female again!_" She kept struggling, but eventually, slumped in Kyoya's embrace(?) when she saw it was of no use.

* * *

Haruhi's eyebrow was twitching as she listened to the broke man's, Yabu-_san's_, plight. She didn't understand. How could he have not known where his own daughter attended school? _Ayumi's_ father was aware of such a fact!

"Kyoya," Tamaki intoned, and she was shocked at the solemnity the usually bumbling male exuded, "give this man a map of the local area and its schools."

The raven bowed, almost mockingly, with his hand fisted over his chest. "As you wish, my king," he replied, and Tamaki's lips quirked. Five minutes later, the Host Club watched through a window as Dr. Yabu exited the premises.

"Boss," Tamaki's attention focused onto one of the redheads beside him, "his daughter might reject him." Hikaru followed where his brother left off. "After all, I doubt she and her mother abandoned him because of monetary issues."

The teen tilted his head back, and calmly, said, "Even so, it's up to him to find out the truth. If we were to hold him back, he'd never be able to gain closure- good or bad."

* * *

"Hello, it's been a while since our last meeting, hasn't it? You've grown. In fact, you look just like your mother when she was around your current age," a tenor voice exclaimed, lavender orbs glinting with an imperceivable emotion.

"Thank you," another replied, tone short and sharp, words clipped. Auburn locks swayed as the owner swiftly set her tea onto the wooden surface of the table before her.

Ayumi Mihara stared at the man seated directly across. "However, I know you did not invite me here for small talk. Tell me. What is it you desire from me, _Father_?"

Katashi Mihara chuckled. "As expected of my flesh and blood, observant and having a way with words- You truly are my daughter." Again, he began to laugh. Ayumi's eyes narrowed, and her expression hardened.

"_I will_ _not_ _ask you a third time,_ _Father_. _What do you want?_" she hissed.

* * *

_"Tamaki-senpai, would it be alright with you if I left? I have a meeting with my father scheduled to start in about twenty minutes," Ayumi stated._

_"Pardon my rudeness, but your parents are divorced, are they not?" Ayumi nodded. "You must be loved, to have him request to meet, and you must be excited to see your father, as well!"_

_"Of course!" she (falsely) exclaimed in response to Tamaki's theory. "Though, could I ask of you for another favor? Could you tell Haruhi that I had something to do? She still worries about me at times, and I don't want to burden her."_

_Tamaki squealed. "What adorable sibling-like affection! Don't worry, my daughter. I'll be sure to grant your wish! Have fun during your meeting!"_

_Again, Ayumi nodded, and she waited until her blonde president had left before facing the exit. Suddenly, she punched the wall in a rage, her indifferent expression overpowered with a strange mix of hate and pain._

_Ignoring her scraped knuckles, she walked briskly out of the building and to her destination, unaware of the two pairs of topaz orbs tracking her movements- Truthfully, they had seen the entire exchange, Ayumi's previously hidden anger, as well._

_After a silent conversation, the twins made a decision: They would follow her. Ayumi was their toy, and no one was allowed to cause her pain but them. They swore it._

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hey, I'm back, and here's the third(?) chapter of _Slightly Crazy, Extremely Weird_! Again, if you have ANY ideas for a pairing, please, tell me!

A HUGE shoutout to _Harukawa Ayame_, _Mafflinka_, _Mariana-Matie_, _Moonsun24_, _Morning-Star57_, _StrawberryNeko7_, _TheColeminer_, _bangtan_, _(person who this website won't let me include, for whatever reason)_, _Kitsune to Tenshi-chan_, _allonsyepicsnowman_, and _basketball4444_ for reviewing, favoriting, and/or following along with an additional thanks to anyone else who reads this story.

As usual, thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4: Hidden Visage

**Disclaimer: **I, Keelan1210, do not own the anime/manga/drama, _Ouran High School_ _Host Club_. However, any original characters found in this fanfiction _are_ mine as is the plot. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Chapter 4: Hidden Visage

"What...? _Could you-_" Ayumi paused, gaping at her father. "Could you repeat your sentence? I don't think that I heard you correctly the first time."

Mihara Katashi grinned, amused. "I said, I would appreciate it if you came to live with me and _my_ family, and if you _do_ choose to agree, I will provide your mother with sufficient funds, _monthly_."

The lawyer studied his daughter's previously fierce form which, now, appeared drained and weary- It was a far cry from the appearance of the stubborn female he had seen stroll into the establishment a mere ten minutes ago.

Then, she spoke. "I'm sorry, but I'd like some time to mull over my options- Don't worry. I won't run away. After all, my doing so wouldn't sway you in the slightest."

Suppressing a smirk, he replied, "I wouldn't mind, at all. In fact, do take your time. This is an important decision to make, right?"

Ayumi nodded, and Katashi rose from his seated position, waltzing towards the glass-paned entrance. Spying a pair of clenched fists, the male checkled deviously and continued on his merry way.

She would agree. There was not even a slight chance of denial. Ayumi posessed many, many personailty quirks, but she was not overly selfish. She loved her mother, as he once had, and would place her wellbeing above all.

_Yes, he was well aware of the outcome of this show._

* * *

Ayumi grit her teeth, visibly shaking. Her placid front was wavering constantly. The whirlpool of emotion within her was threatening to overflow.

She could not believe the daring the elder Mihara possessed. How could he have the nerve to summon her so casually and make such a demand whilst maintaining a gentlemanly persona?

Had he forgotten the pain he had caused her mother? Had he expected Ayumi to forgive him and leap into his _loving_ embrace? Had he presumed her naïve and innocent? She scoffed, dismissing the possibility.

Still, one question lingered: _Why_? Why, now? What could have possibly driven him to negotiate for _her_ presence, a presence he had discarded a decade ago?

_No, she would not contemplate the matter. _After all, did she really hope to discover his reasons? She'd probably be better off ignorant.

"Junko-_san_," Ayumi motioned the passing waitress. "Could I get the check, please?"

The blonde peered at her, puzzled. "There is no need. Mihara-_sama_ has already paid. Please, do have a good afternoon, _ojou-sama_. We will eagerly await for your next visitation."

Ah, that manipulative bastard. It seemed she had no further reason to remain, then. Ayumi inclined her head a bit and murmured a farewell. However, a _wondrous_ sight captured her attention.

"Hikaru-_san_, Kaoru-_san_," she cooed, and the aforementioned duo shivered violently. "Might I ask: _What, exactly, are you two doing here?_"

* * *

"Ayu-_chan_? Are you still mad at Hika-_chan_ and Kao-_chan_?" Mitsukuni asked. His grip on a certain Usa-_chan_ tightened. "Don't be angry. I'm sure that they were only worried!"

Ayumi sighed. "I know, Mitsu-_senpai_. I know, but it irks me that they eavesdropped- Eavesdropping is rude and an invasion of privacy. Wouldn't you be annoyed, as well?"

"I guess..." the elder's voice trailed off. Suddenly, his mind registered Ayumi's address towards him. "Ayu-_chan_, why did you change your nickname for me? I don't mind, but I just wanted to know."

A slight blush formed on the younger's cheeks. "_Umm_... Well, everyone calls you _Honey-senpai_, but I wanted to be different... It is fine, right?"

Mitsukuni nodded, and abruptly, glomped his junior. "_Wah!_ It's rare to witness such a shy Ayu-_chan_! You're so cute! You can address me however you'd like!"

Ayumi began to struggle, but Mitsukuni's strength overpowered her own. "Mitsu-_senpai_, stop! You're acting just like _Danchou_!" Fortunately, Mori spotted her predicament and freed her from the karate genius's grasp.

"Thank you, Mori-_senpai_!" she exclaimed, ignoring Mitsukuni's protest(s). Mori grunted in response, blocking his cousin from launching another assault.

Then, suddenly, an occasion that would be forever marked as a catastrophe occurred- Audience, prepare yourselves, mentally and emotionally-

Renge Houshakuji had arrived to the Host Club.

* * *

"It's sexual harassment, Haruhi! You have to reprimand them for their intolerability!" Tamaki cried, identical waterfalls pouring from his amethyst orbs. His hands clamped upon Haruhi's shoulders, shaking her back and forth.

"_Senpai_," the brunette began, "this could be considered harassment, too." The scholar's statement only resulted in more disbelieving screeches from the blonde host.

_Bzzt! Bzzt!_

Ayumi turned her attention away from the comedy act, and instead, to her vibrating mobile hoped it wasn't Hirohito-_san _or her_ father_, again. However, the actual sender was someone the 15-year old had not been expecting, _at all_.

"_Lukewarm!_ Your character is too tepid! Eventually, all your customers will leave. Are you trying to ruin Kyoya-_sama's_ business, huh? _Are you?!_"

Renge was shouting, ranting, in the background, but Ayumi ignored the fanatic's speech in favor of reading her newest text message. Still, it required all of her patience to refrain from silencing the otaku, _personally_.

_Mihara Tamotsu: I swore to support you upon the condition that your emotions were to be placed first and foremost- Don't cause for me to become a liar, imoto._

Ayumi had begun to form a response when her name was mentioned in Renge's furious lecture. "Ayumu-_kun_, pay attention! Your character is lukewarm, as well! I _must_ alter all of you lest Kyoya-_sama_ be hurt!"

"_Alter_...?" Haruhi muttered. "Does she think we're mannequins or clay figures? I don't think I'll ever understand the minds of the wealthy- _Damn, rich bastards._"

"First, I'll begin with you!" the love-struck fanatic cried, pointing to Honey. "Eventually, your childish act will become a bore; thus, you will be the baby-faced delinquent, and Mori-_senpai_ will be your lackey!"

Hikaru and Kaoru sweat dropped, leaning toward the Tyrian-eyed archer. "Doesn't she realize that Mori-_senpai_ practically _is_ Honey-_senpai's_ follower, already?"

"Well, in reality, the situation is a bit different. They are cousins, you know?" she murmured. "Kaoru, stop messing with my hair, or my wig will fall off." She swatted the offending hand lightly, careful not to cause any real damage.

"Hey, Ayumi, how did you-" However, Hikaru was never able to complete his inquiry as Renge's attention shifted, again.

"The Hitachiin brothers will be generally the same. Their love for one another, though, will be much more evident. Also, it will cause them to feel and act as if they were isolated in their own, personal dimension!"

Quietly, Ayumi whispered to Tamaki, "Can their affection _be_ more showy? Would that kind of material be allowed on school premises?" The president shook his head, fearfully anticipating his own change.

"Haruhi-_kun_ will be a bullied, soft-spoken transfer student- It's a very complex role, you know?" Immediately, the academic scholarship recipient facepalmed, unable to comprehend Renge's thought process.

Tamaki and Ayumi began to fidget nervously. Which one of them would be nitpicked, first? Fortunately (for Ayumi), her _senpai_ was chosen.

"Tamaki Suoh, you shall portray the lonely Prince, embodying ultimate sadness and grief! No one understands your true self, but all idolize your appearance! _Yes, the role should suit you perfectly!_"

The blonde collapsed, ever so dramatically. "The Lonesome Prince? I see... Could this be it? My final evolution?!"

Now, it was Kyoya's turn to sweat drop. "Tamaki, you aren't a Pokémon..." (Note: Keelan1210 does not own Pokémon or any of its franchise. Everyone already knew that, though.)

"Finally, there is you, _Mihara Ayumu!_" Ayumi gulped, steeling her remaining shreds of sanity. "You shall be the indifferent school president! You have acquaintances, but none know your hidden secret: You do not understand emotions, and because of this, you see the world and them merely as a game and its pieces!"

Ayumi promptly tripped over her own feet and choked on air. "_Didn't she claim that Haruhi's part was the most complicated?!_"

"Kyoya-_sama_, you don't have to change! You're perfect, already," Renge exclaimed, her tone dreamy. The raven head smiled cordially- the damned rich bastard, as Haruhi would proclaim.

* * *

Rain descended from the misty heavens above, plinking against the misty glass of a window. A lone figure stood by the reflective surface, forehead rested upon the pane. Deep, calming breaths created fog on the fenestra.

The male stirred from his contemplation and tilted his head back to reveal the half-hidden glasses of wine, murky in their depths. The orbs gazed at the scenery before their wielder.

Movement, and Ouran's president strolled away from the world. A hand shifted to swipe a figurine from a nearby drawer. The piece was tossed into the air and caught, again- rhythmically, repeatedly.

Finally, the mahogany-haired halted, observing the board lying innocently upon an oaken desk. He paused in his motions and placed the pawn he held in his grasp unto its rightful position.

Nimble fingers brushed against the other players, and barely audible words reverberated through the space Ayumu encompassed.

"A pair of bishops have fallen, and they have met the fractured king." The voice was dull, lacking any real empathy or sympathy, speaking as if commenting on the weather. "The final pawn is in peril, at the mercy of the rogue knight, and the rook unwillingly follows the chaos."

The game was altered to mirror the situation of Ayumu's tale. "However," he mused, "the queen remains detached, observing from afar... Will she be the last to survive?"

He relaxed onto the armchair behind him, shutting his eyes, once more- The narrator began to speak, signifying the end of Ayumu's monologue. _"Sadness, joy, pain... All these are absent, and the world is gray."_

* * *

"_Danchou_, would you happen to know where's Haruhi?" Ayumi inquired, mild worry evident in her tone. She fingered the pawn that had been her prop, anxious. "I can't seem to find her."

Tamaki smiled, admiring the female's care towards her sister. "As usual, your's and Haruhi's sibling-like bond is marvelous!" he cooed. "_Ahem_\- I believe, Renge borrowed her for a bit. They should be by the supply area."

"Thank you!" Ayumi shouted, grateful, and dashed to find her long-time friend and schoolmate. Then, a loud crash was heard, and after a brief pause, the archer charged forward. She prayed nothing major had occurred.

* * *

Haruhi huddled on the ground, and Renge appearing petrified with fear- This was the scene Ayumi saw at her arrival, and rage filled her being.

This was not a hot-blooded, impulsive rage. No, this was a frigid, calculating, utterly placid fury. Every step, every action, was thought through, considered. The extent of her anger was reflected in her eyes, and Haurhi found she was terrified by what was seen.

_This was not_ _her_ _Ayumi- _The Mihara Ayumi she knew would not lunge so ferociously at an opponent twice her size. She would not have hurled a chess piece with force enough to render someone in a daze.

Ayumi would not have mercilessly side stepped the other male and tripped him, watching him tumble to the harsh gravel. She wouldn't have planted her shoe against his back and studied his flustered form that was gasping for oxygen.

Where was she, the Ayumi that Haruhi knew and loved? Where was the lazy, unmotivated but brilliant Ayumi? Where was the perceptive, caring Ayumi who she had forcibly nursed when the archer was ill?

_Where was her Ayumi?_

* * *

_"Ayumi, stop!"_ There were two, different people, Ayumi registered. She knew these people. She knew the arms around her waist, pleading for her to stop- _Haruhi. _The hand grasping her own extended hand,_ Tamaki-senpai._

_Ah... Haruhi was safe. _

Though, she was also scared. _Why?_ Was it her? Did she scare Haruhi? No, she didn't want to be the reason for the fear in her friend's milk chocolate orbs- Hadn't she sworn to never become like her father?

She had to calm. She inhaled and exhaled, releasing any remaining, negative emotion. Then, peered at the pair restraining her and removed her limb from the delinquent's back. The male struggled to his feet, took hold of his companion, and fled-

He never looked back- _Had she instilled that deep of a fear within him?_

Ayumi slumped into Haruhi's embrace. "_I'm sorry._ I became just like him, _huh_? It's funny. I'm so similar to the very person I swore to never become... I thought, you were hurt, and I... _I'm sorry._"

"It's okay. _I'm okay._ My contact slipped out. I wasn't injured. It'll be fine. You're not like him. You'll never be like him. You were just trying to protect me, and that's what separates you and him, okay?" Haruhi murmured, comforting the distressed girl.

Ayumi nodded, and she was thankful when Tamaki decided to erase the tension.

"_Ahaha..._ Haruhi! You can cry without eye drops! You're officially a host, now! Congratulations!" he chuckled. "Also, Ayumu? You did a wonderful job protecting your sibling and a lady."

"_Cut...!_ Cameraman, did you film everything?" Renge yelled, and the worker affirmed her suspicions. "_Good!_ Now, we have to add in a touching moment with Kyoya-_sama _and delete the contact will be perfect!"

* * *

_Crash!_ A stone was slammed into the camera lense, courtesy of Kyoya. The raven ignored the owner's blubbering and stepped forward.

He and the remaining Host Club members had been watching everything unfold, but it was time to interrupt. Hikaru and Kaoru flanked his left while Mori and Honey covered his right.

"Renge, you're a bother. Please, cease your ridiculousness." Kyoya paused to deliver the finishing statement. "You're annoying."

The love-struck girl fell to her knees. She suddenly began to bawl into her palms. "_Why?_ Why are you acting so cruel? You're not supposed to be this way! You're supposed to be kind, caring, and chivalrous, so why?!"

"The person you're describing isn't Kyoya, though," Tamaki stated. The Hitachiin pair sauntered to their president's side. "Kyoya-_senpai_," Hikaru began, and Kaoru finished his sentence. "... isn't whoever you're describing."

"Kyo-_chan_\- He _can_ be kind, but he's not the person in your fantasies," Honey chirped. Mori grunted in agreement, standing protectively by his cousin.

It was Haruhi's turn to address Renge. The brunette smiled gently. "Still, even if he's not your prince, it doesn't matter, does it? After all, bonding with people slowly, gradually, is much more fun!"

Ayumi sniffled. "I can't guarantee that the journey'll be as enjoyable as your dating sims, but I believe, the end result will be something they can't even compare, so why don't you try? Become friends, become closer, and..."

Haruhi and Ayumi grinned, gazing at the Host Club. They were met with identical, mischievous faces, a charming smile, a warm quirk of the lips, a wide grin, and a smirk.

"_And...?_" Renge repeated, drying her tears. Ayumi laughed, ever so slightly, and replied, "Well, I can't tell you, can I? It would be spoiling the fun."

* * *

_"The person you are attempting to reach is not responding. Please, leave a message, at the tone- Beep,"_ a monotone, prerecorded voice explained.

"Hello, this is Ayumi, speaking. I considered your offer. I contemplated and contemplated, but in the end, I have to refuse." Ayumi recalled her brother's message, her schoolmates' various expressions. "It's selfish, but I don't want to leave them."

A sliver of doubt flashed, but she waved it aside. She had already made her decision. "I'd like to thank you for your generous offer, and I hope that you pardon my rudeness. Farewell, Father. I won't be calling, again."

_Click!_ The call was ended.

* * *

**Author's Note:** I, officially, give up on scheduled updates. Writers' block, lack of motivation, and laziness triumph over my sense of responsibility, unfortunately. I know, I know- I'm horrible, but that's me.

Now, I've been mentioning this for a while but, does anyone have any ideas for a pairing? I'm really conflicted! Please, save me~ T ^ T

As usual, a "thank you" to all of my favoriters, reviewers, and followers. _Morning-Star57_, _TheColeminer_, _Harukawa Ayame_, _Kitsune to Tenshi-chan_, _Meliara422_, _allonsyepicsnowman_, _basketball4444_, _katekasparova _(Pineapple! Thank you, blob80!), _Airliena_, _Invisible to Life_, _Malffinka_, _Marriana-Matie_, _Moonsun24_, _StrawberryNeko7_, _Vitalus_, and _bangtan_, thank you!

Finally, a shoutout to _anybody_ who reads this fanfiction, at all!


	5. Chapter 5: Winter Girl

**Disclaimer: **I, Keelan1210, do not own the anime/manga/drama, _Ouran High School_ _Host Club_. However, any original characters found in this fanfiction _are_ mine as is the plot. Thank you for reading.

* * *

Chapter 5: Winter Girl

_Neh, Hikaru, do you remember? Do you remember that snowy day so very long ago? Ahahaha... I'd think you didn't, but you were always the more unpredictable one of us two, weren't you? _

_Unsurprisingly, as it was winter, it was snowing. We were still in kindergarten, but even then, we were twisted. We believed that, in the world, there were two groups of people: us and them. There was no in between, no exceptions to the rule- __I think, we were lonely, but we would never admit that, even now._

_Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah... It was snowing, and it was recess. Our classmates all huddled together in the bitter cold and made snowmen, snow angels, and had snowball fights. I'm sure that we would have enjoyed it had we joined them, but we were (and still are) stubborn brats, to an extent._

_Instead, we latched onto one another and observed from afar, as if that world was one separate from our own. We sat, undisturbed, on that lone bench with our palms connected and wallowed in our self-pity._

_Then, we received an opportunity, a possible escape from our self-inflicted purgatory, but did we accept? No, we did not. We drove that innocent brunette away with our frigid words and detached expressions because we were too scared, terrified, by the off-chance of another betrayal._

_We didn't want to be hurt, anymore._

_Thus, she left (just like her) and left us on our lonesome, but what am I saying? This isn't what I meant to ponder when I questioned your memory- It's the next girl that truly holds a place within my mind, our very first trespasser._

_She walked towards us, undauntingly, despite our obvious personality faults and addressed us so unlike our former classmates. She didn't attempt to act as if we were friends but acknowledged that we were not._

_Her almost indigo orbs met our amber without fear of rejection or anything, really. "Hitachiin-san, Hitachiin-san," she called, and we returned her bland stare, "Sensei said that recess is over, now."_

_Yes, this is how our first meeting with the gatecrasher began._

* * *

"Alright, then! Let's play the _Which One is Hikaru_ game!" a pair of redheads exclaimed. Their clients clapped wildly, cheering, from their own positions. The females were almost vibrating upon their seats on the plush couch in excitement.

"Now, we'll begin!" The twins simultaneously plopped jade caps atop of their heads, causing their bangs to be ruffled. They continuously wasked past one another, again and again and again. Eventually, they paused, halted in their steps, and faced their eager audience.

"Well?" the two drawled. "Can you tell which of us is Kaoru, and which of us is Hikaru? Though, we must warn you: No lady has guessed correctly, before."

A curly-haired brunette waved her hand enthusiastically. "I know, I know!" she cried. "The twin on the right is Kaoru-_kun_, and the twin on the left is Hikaru-_kun_! _Neh_, _neh! _Am I right? I'm right, aren't I?"

At her response, Hikaru released an inaudible groan of annoyance. Comfortingly, Kaoru squeezed his brother's hand lightly- _When had he grasped the elder's hand? _He was, however, prevented from such thoughts when Haruhi passed by.

"What a stupid game," the scholar muttered. "I doubt I'll ever understand the reason why you two are so popular. Actually, that applies to the Host Club, in general, too!"

Hikaru shifted his attention to Haruhi. "You're so mean, Haruhi." Then, he addressed the female challenger. "I'm sorry to have to say this, but..." He paused for the barest of moments to alert Kaoru of his queue. "Your guess is not correct, princess," the younger finished.

The female deflated in disappointment, causing her fellow classmates to soothe her wounded pride. Kaoru decided that the girl would be fine, and he chose instead to answer to Haruhi's previous statement.

"Haruhi, you really don't understand, do you?" he inquired, jokingly exasperated. "Listen. The club _already _automatically gains major points by having a pair of guys seeminly possessing homosexual attachments to one another."

It was Hikaru's turn to speak. "However, a pair of twins is _taboo_, and this makes everything so much more _enticing_. After all, haven't you ever had a fantasy about identical siblings waging war for your love?" The Hitachiin both caressed a bobbed princess's chin to emphasize their point. "It's a young female's ultimate dream," they declared mishieviously.

Their victim swooned and squealed. Her face was flushed with a deep shade of crimson, and Hikaru smirked with pride- _Yes, they hadn't lost their touch._

Haruhi opened her mouth as if to speak, but she was rudely interrupted by the sudden appearance of a certain blonde president. "Hikaru! Kaoru! What have you done?!" he yelled. "I granted you permission to the club's website but not for something as scandalous as _this_!"

Held within the male's grasp was a metallic-colored laptop, but that was not the issue, here. Instead, it was the _image_ shown on the screen: _Haruhi_. More precisely, it was a topless, and altogether, _very masculine_ Haruhi surrounded by roses in full bloom.

The hosts' visitors all scrambled towards the piece of technology to better see the picture upon the screen. Tamaki was pushed aside by the crowd, but he remained relatively unfazed and continued his rant, ignoring the mentally scarred, brunette host at his side.

"_When_-" His voiced cracked, and he coughed to cover the imperfection. "How were you able to obtain such an image?" The French-Japanese gasped dramatically. "You bribed her, didn't you?! You offered her fancy tuna!"

Kaoru sighed, rolling his golden eyes. "_Tono_, isn't it obvious that the image is photoshopped? We can do things like that, nowadays, you know? It's not all that difficult if you have the means." Hikaru nodded in agreement whilst leaning against his twin.

Aprubtly, Haruhi snapped out of her daze. "Don't do stuff like that! It's not funny. What do you two take the people around you for, anyway?" Tamaki supported Haruhi's miniature speech with exaggerated hand movements. "Yeah! What are we?!"

The twins snorted. "Isn't it obvious? Toys- You're our toys, a way to chase away boredom." The brunette immediately became irritated. "I am _not_ a toy!"

_Creak!_ The hosts quickly whipped their heads to face where the eerie noise had originated from. There stood a dark mahogany doorway with a cloaked figure peering through it. His moss locks swayed as he chuckled creepily.

"Toys, toys!" he crowed. "Join the Black Magic Ckub, and you receive lots and lots of toys! _Ehehehehehe_!" Tamaki shivered and dashed for Kyoya, hiding behind the raven's back as a means of protection.

Spying the trio's confusion, Kyoya decided to explain. "He's Nekozawa Umehito-_senpai_, president of the Black Magic Club. He has an aversion to the light which is why he wears the cloak and avoids sunlit places."

A mahogany head appeared suddenly, and the owner's drowsy voice spoke. "He has classes with you and Mori-_senpai_, doesn't he, Mitsu-_senpai_?" Ayumi asked curiously, rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand.

"_Mmhmm_! Neko-_chan's_ a third year, too! Right, Takashi?" Honey chirped, secretly pleased with how Ayumi had chosen to address him. "_Ah_," Mori stated in response. "He's in our homeroom."

"_Oh_... Wait! _Ayum_\- Ayumu!" Tamaki screeched, stumbling over the archer's name. "You! Where have you been?"

The auburn-haired scratched her head nervously. "Well, I'm the _lethargic type_, so I was using a guest's lap as a pillow, but she moved to see Haruhi's picture, and I didn't want to get up- Hey, where's Nekozawa-_senpai_?"

"He left. Hikaru and Kaoru shone a flashlight at him," Haruhi stated, her tone dry. "Did you have a nice sleep? You slept late last night, didn't you? I keep telling you to sleep earlier, Ayumu."

She pouted, crossing her arms defensively across her chest. "I can't help it! I was having a _Kuroko no Basuke_ marathon, and I don't care if I've already done so twice, so don't mention it."

Haruhi gave a small smile before dissolving into a fit of giggles, prompting Ayumi to followe in her footsteps. Unfortunately, their moment was disrupted by Tamaki. "Ayumu! Why aren't you mad? Those dastardly twins created an inappropriate image of Haruhi!"

"Woah! _Tono_, you said _dastardly_. Have you been reading dictionaries, lately?" the aforementioned gingers teased.

Luckily, Ayumi intervened before they could be mauled. "They asked for permission. They were polite, too, unlike a particular blonde who's screaming in my ear," she said, and the conversation was finished.

* * *

"_Neh_, Ayumu, Haruhi- Can we visit your houses? We wanna see how the commoners live!" Bland stares met hopeful gazes, and the shorter brunette sighed. She looked to her taller friend for assistance but was met with a helpless shrug.

Fine. It seemed it was up to her to refuse, then. She doubted they would listen. "No. I'd like for my home-life to remain private." Kaoru opened his mouth as if to protest, but Haruhi interrupted. "Ayumu is off-limits, too."

Hikaru pouted before grumbling. "Well, you're no fun. Haruhi, you're so mean. We just wanna better understand your living circumstances. Right, Kaoru?" The younger nodded eagerly in agreement.

"_Huu_... We're very sorry to have rained on your parade. Please, do forgive us for our insolence," Ayumi deadpanned. "Actually, I don't know what Haruhi is thinking, but I'm not sorry, at all- Go harass _Danchou_, will you? I bet that would be much more fun and entertaining."

Kaoru giggled. _He giggled_\- not that he would ever admit it, of course. "No, we can't, though that _does_ sound amusing. You see, we Hitachiin do not give up... under normal circumstances."

Haruhi followed Kaoru's line of sight. "Would those exceptions happen to include a certain Kyouya-_senpai_?" Ayumi cooed. "How precious! The resident, mishievious types are terrified of the cool type."

Both brothers glared at the archer. Hikaru snorted, and Kaoru scoffed. "And you're not scared? Everyone is, at least, a bit wary of Kyouya-_senpai_. You'd have to be an idiot to not be cautious."

"They're not lying, Ayumu. Remember how cold he was to Renge when she inadvertently caused his patience to snap?" the scholar reminded. Ayumi shivered and muttered her assent.

Suddenly, Kaoru's head snapped up. "I almost forgot- Hikaru, let's do _that_. We can do _that_!" The initial confusion melted away, and the elder twin smirked, ruffling his brother's pumpkin hair. "Good idea, Kaoru."

Ayumi and Haruhi glanced at each other nervously. Hikaru spoke up, again. "Let's play a game, shall we? If you win, we'll stop bugging you two. If we win, we get to visit your houses."

Cautiously, Haruhi asked, "What is this _game_?" Kaoru mirrored his twin's expression. "_The Which One is Hikaru Game_\- The conditions are simple. Answer correctly, and you'll win. Though, only one of you has to answer."

The mahogany-haired female slapped her neighbor's back lightly. "I'll leave this to you, then. I know that you'll be able to answer correctly. You're Haruhi Fujioka, after all."

"Fine," Haruhi muttered in resignation. "It's not like I'll be able to argue my way out of this, anyway." The rest is, as they say, history. This event became known as the trigger for the struggle known to the Host Club as _The Twin's Fight_\- They pray it never occurs a second time.

* * *

_Pink_\- It was all that Ayumi could perceive. Her vision was utterly consumed with the sight of bright, flamingo, neon pink... _Oh_, why? Why would any _sane_ person dye their hair such a blinding color?!

Wait. Who had ever claimed that Hitachiin Hikaru was sane, to begin with? _Ahahaha_... Yes, he must be a _lunatic_! Why else would he allow such a piercing pigment to even touch his head?

Still, Ayumi had always thought that Kaoru would be much wiser than his brother when making decisions. Apparently, judging from the luminescent, sky blue permeating his locks, she was wrong- Weren't the pair of them supposedly the sons of a _well-known_, _fashion designer_ of a mother? Shouldn't they have a better _sense of style_ than this?!

It was official: The Hitachiin twins were crazy. Nothing anyone could ever proclaim would ever change this thought within her mind.

"... _-mu_! Ayumu! I've been trying to get your attention for a while, now. What has you thinking so deeply this early in the morning?" a certain, celeste-headed male asked. His expression was one of genuine confusion, as if he really hadn't the slightest idea behind the archer's current state.

This was a tough decision. Should she be honest and possibly wound his obnoxious (though, not as much as his brother) ego, lie, or brush off his question?

Suddenly, Ayumi's uncertain gaze spotted a suspicious splotch on the sleeve of Kaoru's usually crisp and tidy uniform. "Hey, Kaoru, why is there a pink stain near your wrist? I have my contacts on, so I'm pretty confident that you dyed your hair blue."

Kaoru's facial features immediately shifted into an expression of blatant shock and panic. He hurriedly attempted to mask his emotions, but it was too late. Ayumi had already seen. "_Errr_... It must be because my arm brushed Hikaru's hair earlier when I pulled out his chair. The dye must not be entirely dry, yet," he fibbed.

"_Huu_..." Ayumi stared at the ginger. Did he honestly believe that she would believe his excuse? There was a noticeable mark on Hikaru's sleeve, too. Well, anyhow, she'd play along, for now. It was too early in the morning for her to do anything else.

The violet-eyed teen shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "It doesn't matter. Class is starting, anyway. _Sensei_ just walked into the classroom- _Ah_, I can't wait until lunch. I'm hungry."

The younger Hitachiin sweat dropped nervously, awkwardly rubbing his nape. "_Hahaha_! You're right... I wonder, what will I eat, today?" Honestly, he was such a bad actor, at times.

* * *

Why hadn't she just put a stop to their farce while she had the chance? The Host Club had been forced to clean the _entire_ cafeteria because of their petty actions!

Really, what was worse? Was it how she was officially sure that their quarrel was an act, and she knew it was scripted from how their dialogue seemed to flow a bit too smoothly, or how Kyoya-_senpai_ managed to weasel his way out of cleaning?

Whichever it was, in the end, Ayumi was _irritated_. She would gladly smack those dirty, lying siblings upside the noggin were her arms not feeling as if each limb weighed a ton-

Damn, rich bastards couldn't even perform their punishment properly! Their horrendous task was ultimately pushed onto her and Haruhi! Couldn't they even _transfer silverware_ into the kitchen without causing a ruckus?!

Ayumi's sigh was accompanied by a deep exhalation of breath from Haruhi, as well. The commoner duo flashed one another a weary glance before giggling quietly, earning a strange stare from their raven vice-president- Did he think them to be ill?

His attention shifted to the blonde president of the club when the flamboyant male began to speak. "I haven't known Hikaru and Kaoru for very long, but I did see how they interacted with each other during middle school."

The rest gave small nods to signify that they were listening. Tamaki slumped into his seat, leaning slightly against the polished table they were seated at. "Somehow, they were even _more_ twisted, then. They always kept others at an arms-distance with only themselves for company."

"I've known Hika-_chan_ and Kao-_chan_ since pre-school. We weren't really friends, though, because of our conflicting grade levels. Still, I never saw them fight or argue, even once," Honey murmured, fiddling with his plushie.

"_Hn_..." Mori hummed. He crossed his arms across his chest and approached his smaller cousin from across the music room. Patting the martial artist's head, he stated simply, "They're very close."

Tamaki rose from his seat, suddenly. "Then, this could be a good thing! This fight may just allow them to broaden their horizon. We learn from new experiences, after all!"

"Well, whatever the case," Kyoya mused, "the club is _definitely_ being financially affected by this debacle. Obviously, this isn't anyone in particular's fault. Isn't that right, Haruhi? Ayumi isn't to be blamed either. Though, she probably knew that Haruhi's comment would be blunt and possibly offend someone."

_He's definitely blaming us._ Haruhi glanced at her unusually silent neighbor. "Ayumi, what do you think? You've been really quiet, today, too. Is somtheing wrong?"

The aforementioned individual shook her head. "Nothing's wrong. I'm just a bit low on sugar. I'd didn't eat much at lunch, you know? I should be fine, so don't be so worried- You're such a mother hen, Haruhi."

"Ayumi," Mori called. "You didn't answer her first question." Perched on the kendo-user's lap, the toddler-sized senior clapped his hands. "Ayu-_chan's_ much more perceptive than we are! (No offense, Kyo-_chan_.) Did you notice anything?"

The hosts' combined stares were piercing and uncomfortable. The female purposely tilted her chin slightly towards the ceiling to avoid their gazes. "I think... that everything will turn out fine, in the end, so don't worry."

* * *

Two different figures lay slumped against the cold tiles of the ground, sniffling. The brunette seemed to be almost twitching, and the blonde was outright sobbing.

"Ayumi, did you know that they were pretending?" Haruhi inquired, face ashen. Tamaki lifted his head to stare weepingly in the archer'so direction. "Ayumi wouldn't know. _She would have told us if she had, right?!_" he cackled hysterically.

Avoiding having to look into their or Kyoya's eyes, Ayumi scratched her cheek and peered around the room anxiously. "... I didn't feel the urge to intervene. Fatigue and a lack of sugar really destroyed any will I had left... I'm sorry."

"Ayumi, should you ever neglect to inform me what exactly is happening were I not aware, I will ensure that you will never be able to purchase sweets of any kind, ever again in your life. It will not matter which country you run to," the Shadow King threatened.

Honey patted his junior in a manner of sympathy and comfort, understanding her fear. Mori handed her a tea cake he had saved from club activities- Kyoya was very serious with his threats and promises.

The previously celebrating pair sauntered over to the quartet. "_Neh_, Ayumi," Kaoru nudged the female's terrified form. "You never thought we were seriously arguing, did you? You didn't buy my story about the dye stains, either."

"_Wah_... Ayumi's so smart! Hey, can we visit your house, sometimes?" Hikaru asked, slyly taking advantage of the adolescent's fragile state.

However, despite so, her response was sharp and quick. "No, I'm sorry, but my mother doesn't appreciate outsiders intruding on what wished deems as her private property. She's quite stubborn, too."

"I guess, there's nothing to be done, then," both males chimed simultaneously. Haruhi's milk chocolate orbs widened comically. "Wait! You're not even going to protest? Why? The two of you kept annoying me when I rejected you!"

Hikaru grinned. "Haruhi, you're acting _really_ out of character." Kaoru's lips twitched upwards. "Isn't it obvious? This is payment..." The elder picked up where the younger halted, "for not exposing us!"

It seems that avoiding troublesome situations truly is the best way to live. Lazy, tired, and unmotivated people- _Banzai!_

* * *

"We have a winner! It's Miss Tamazuki Hitomi! Congratulations!" the twins cheered, and the other guests applauded enthusiastically.

Hitomi blushed, plopping rather gracefully between her two female classmates. "It's easier, now, because Hikaru-_kun_ and Kaoru-_kun_ decided to keep their current hairstyles for a bit longer!"

"We just have to remember that Kaoru-_kun_ is the blue twin and that Hikaru-_kun_ is the pink one!" a sandy-haired brunette exclaimed. "Right, Hitomi, Chiaki?" Her friends nodded, and the trio chirped cheerfully aloud.

Kaoru joined palms with his sibling (again), and Hikaru groaned (again). Then, again, Haruhi made her appearance. "Are you sure?" she asked. The customers looked to her in confusion. "Are you sure that you're correct? Don't you think that you might be wrong? They could just be humoring you."

She knew. She knew, but they couldn't be ousted, or Kyoya-senpai would be angry. Their guests would be upset if they knew that their answer had been wrong.

"Haruhi, what are you talking about?" Hikaru drawled, hiding his nervousness and annoyance. She was right, so why did he have to lie like this? "The princesses are obviously the right ones, here."

Haruhi sighed. "Well, then," she bowed to their female audience in apology, "I'm sorry. It seems that I was mistaken. I could have sworn that Hikaru and Kaoru had switched colors, though." She walked away- _Why was this scene so familiar? _

"Hikaru, we have to attend to the customers," Kaoru murmured, heading to their table. "Smile. Don't let them see your agitation... We're hosts. Our duty is to bring them happiness."

He was right. He hated it, but Kaoru was right. he was always right in such cases. They were hosts, and he was sure that he had never _hated_ being a host than at this moment, but didn't their _own_ satisfaction matter, at all? Couldn't they also be happy?

He had just turned back to the guests, again, when he heard his name being yelled. Was that Ayumi? It was rare of her to approach them during hosting hours. He hadn't seen her earlier, either. Was she late?

"Hikaru," she panted. Had she been sprinting. She was so out of breath. "Have you seen Haruhi? I don't have club duties, today, because of a project, but I have something I need to give to her."

The redhead pointed in the short brunette's direction before joining his brother at their designated area. "Kaoru, Ayumi knew. She knew that I was Hikaru."

His twin gave a wry grin, and the two looked away from their customers in favor of Ayumi's retreating back. "I'm not surprised. She's Ayumi, after all. She was like this back then, too."

"Back then?" What was Kaoru muttering about, now? They had only met Ayumi this year when she followed Haruhi into the Host Club. Had he met her some time before high school without him being present?

Kaoru hummed and brushed off the inquiry dismissively. He waved his hand through the air in a flippant manner. "Don't worry. It's nothing, really. Nothing.

* * *

_"Hitachiin-san, Hitachiin-san," she called, and we returned her bland stare, "Sensei said that recess is over, now." The girl started the walk back to the classroom. "We have to return. The parents and guardians will be arriving, soon."_

_Kaoru stood along with Hikaru, their mitten-clad hands still connected. The younger of the pair brushed some lingering snow off his twin's head before tugging the elder towards their destination. _

_Their classmate had apparently halted to wait for them to catch up. "Hitachiin-san, your hair, there's-" _

_"Which one of us are you addressing? We're both Hitachiin-san. Are you blind or stupid?" Hikaru interrupted. Somehow, he was irritated... She hadn't mistaken one of them for the other, but she hadn't tried, either._

_The auburn-headed female peered at them inquisitively. Eventually, she spoke, "Ah... You're right. I'm sorry." Her features remained unchanged. Wasn't she hurt by Hikaru's brash statement? He had been quite rude._

_She continued, so Kaoru was half-sure that she hadn't been offended. "Then, I'll address __both you properly from now on... Kaoru-san, you have some snow on your nose." She reached out, but it was Hikaru who flinched, sure she would mistake the two. Instead, her cold fingers grazed Kaoru's skin._

_"There. There isn't anymore snow- Come. We should hurry. There are cars approaching the door. I can see them through the fence," she said, grasping onto their connected limbs and lightly tugging them to the classroom._

_Kaoru was still in shock. She hadn't mistaken them. Had it been a fluke? "It was a fluke. There's no way she'll do so, again," his brother muttered fiercely, and Kaoru nodded numbly, unsure if Hikaru was attemtping to convince him or himself._

_They followed the girl into the building and left her to gather her belongings. Approaching the entrance, they had not seen her for a second time and assumed that she had went home. However, they were proven wrong when her level voice called out to both of them, again._

_Both turned and watched as she jogged to their location. She was panting slightly, cheeks flushed a tinge of pink. "Hikaru-san, you dropped your scarf, outside on the playground."_

_She handed him his scarf, and again, both Hitachiin were utterly amazed that she had not confused their names. She bowed and gave her farewells, looking them straight in the eyes as she addressed them individually- There was no mistaking it. This was no fluke. She truly did know which of them was Hikaru and which was Kaoru._

_"Wait! Your name!" Surprisingly, even to Kaoru, it had been himself that had called out to her. He was surprised, however, when Hikaru completed his sentence. "What's your name?"_

_She was surprised, as well. Kaoru could clearly see it in her lavender orbs that had always been shadowed by her bangs, until now. Her eyes appeared to glow as she smiled. "Ayumi, Mihara Ayumi."_

_They repeated her name several times under their breath as if it was a mantra. Then, simultaneously, they uncharacteristic ally waved goodbye. "See you, Ayumi."_

_Ayumi's lips seemed to quirk downwards, but Kaoru couldn't be sure as it was only for the barest of moments before she returned their farewell and disappeared out the door of the establishment._

_"Mihara Ayumi," Hikaru murmured, squeezing Kaoru's hand tightly within his own. Kaoru returned the gesture and wondered what would occur when they saw her, tomorrow._

_They never did, and though Hikaru eventually forgot about her existence, Kaoru never did for very long. Something would always remind him of that winter girl from that wintry place on that winter day._

* * *

**Author's Note:** Now, after a LONG absence, I present the fifth chapter of _Slightly Crazy, Extremely Weird_! Yeah~ *_cue cheers and applause_* I am so sorry. *_sudden bow_* I have no excuse for my lateness, so I made sure to write an EXTRA long chapter. (The plot basically went MIA in my mind for a while. This is still happening with my Pandora Hearts story.) Moving on!

Thank you to _animexxfreakxx, 15ls, AlwaysReading42, Spellcasterz, __DeathConlon5, __ILoveRebornNrutoKProject, MadderThanTheHatter, .xX, ArisuTamaZuki, Izzyboopers, MsWolfGirl, Psychobunny97, SecretsOfMischief, bangtan, xxxbluexxx1008,_ _Morning-Star57_, _TheColeminer_, _Harukawa Ayame_, _Kitsune to Tenshi-chan_, _Meliara422_, _allonsyepicsnowman_, _basketball4444_, _katekasparova,_ _Airliena_, _Invisible to Life_, _Malffinka_, _Marriana-Matie_, _Moonsun24_, _StrawberryNeko7_, _Vitalus _for reviewing, favoriting, and following! Thank you to anyone else who reads this story,too!

Also, I'm 90% sure that I'll be posting a Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler story, so please, watch out for that! There'll be a male OC, and while romance _might_ be a component, it probably won't be a main part until I can get a sure hold of the plot line. Anyway, just a heads up.

Thank you for reading!


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